On a Mission From God

According to Wikipedia, The Theater on the Square in Sullivan, Illinois "is known as one of the best places in the midwest to see a professional live stage production. Actors such as Mickey Rooney, Vincent Price, Alan Alda, Ann Miller, Ben Affleck, Don Ameche, Betty Grable, John Carradine, Leonard Nimoy, Forrest Tucker, Stubby Kaye and Ann B. Davis have done shows there."  That list is about to get bigger.  

As I write this, I am nestled on a couch in the same housing that once held each of those famous performers.  There are board games nearby.  There is faux leopard skin on the wall.  There are five sleeping actors resting up for tomorrow.  And there is, 100 yards away, a sign outside the Theater on the Square that reads:

Wait.  Wait.  Not that sign.^  That sign is only relevant in the post-script to this entry.  I'm talking about this sign:

Damn it.  Not that sign.  That sign* is only relevant because I'm comparing our little traveling troupe to the Blues Brothers.  (I'm Elwood.)  I'm talking about this sign:  

. . .

Oh, wait.  There is no sign.  Well, anyway.  We're doing a show here.  We're getting the boys back together, and we're playing this town for everything it'll take.  We've got a full pack of pop tarts, half a bag of bagels, it's cold, and we're wearing animal heads. 

Hit it.

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* Sullivan, Illinois: 98.68% white

^ Okay, so the weird part about that population sign is this.  I'm waiting . . .