Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Luke Father, Luke Son
*heavy breathing through mask*
*copyrighted laser sword swing from the darkness*
*fight leads onto a barely-explicable bridge*
FATHER: Tell them. Tell them the truth that you know. Tell them publicly.
*SON hits FATHER on shoulder with copyrighted laser sword*
*FATHER cuts off SON's hand*
FATHER: There is no avoiding it. The truth must be made known.
*Son begins to back away down metal beam*
FATHER: Why are you fighting with me?
SON: I'm not. Not in real life.
FATHER: Then why here?
SON: Because it's a device.
*FATHER swings copyrighted laser sword*
FATHER: Like this device?
SON: No. A literary device. To engage a reader's attention and present information in an interesting way.
FATHER: Well, stop it! Stop fighting me! Join me. Together, we can own amazon.com.
SON: I'll never join you. But I'm only saying that for dramatic effect!
FATHER: If you'd only publicly announce what you know about me. If you'd only search your brain and share what you find there with the world!
SON: I've shared enough. I've shared that you've read some novels.
FATHER: NO. I wrote a novel.
*SON's face gets all scrunchy and weird.*
SON: NO! That's so unlikely! It's as unlikely as almost the entire cast of the original Star Wars coming back to do a seventh movie!
FATHER: That is also going to happen. It's coming out around Christmas of next year!
SON: That's not news! Everyone already knows that!
FATHER: Then get back to talking about my novel.
SON: I can't. I can't utter anything intelligible. I'm shocked and missing a hand.
FATHER: Then I will talk. The ebook of A Journey to Reality is available for only $5 here on amazon.com.
SON: Amazon? That's where I bought my worm factory!
FATHER: Yes. Yes!
SON: You can buy a worm factory and an ebook on the same website? My mind is blown!
FATHER: And you can also get both my book and your book for about 1/10 of the price of a worm factory!
SON: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
FATHER: You know it to be true.