The Secret

I need to share something with you, something I've discovered that's changed my life.  You might think this is a joke.^  You won't think so after you're enlightened:  

Here.  Open your eyes. *

Do you see?  You can have your dreams.  You can become one of the greatest people in history.  You can have everything you want:  happiness, health, and wealth.  You can have, do, or be anything you want.  

So what do you really want?  

(To write!  To write!  To perform!  To perform!)

I come to you today not just as a man with a dream, not just as a man on the precipice of immortality, but as something even greater: as an idea itself.  I am eternity.  More, I am a living testimony to the secret.  

But what is the secret?

It's simple.  When you desire something from the very bottom of your soul, and you request that something from the universe, then all of your wishes are fulfilled.  Knock and the door shall be answered.  If you call, I'll pick you up.

(To write!  To write!  To perform!  To perform!)

For example, this past August, in the face of disappointment, I decided to remake myself.  I gave the universe formal notice that I would like to be on stage as much as possible.  I wanted to write and perform to the point of exhaustion.    

Open your eyes again:  you can have what you want.  Last night, I performed in A Reasonable Facsimile's TV Reruns, then gave an encore that people just couldn't shut up about.  This morning, I rose at 6:30 to perform as John Adams in American Eagle Productions' 1776.  This evening, I performed a piece about the Smoot Hearings at The Encyclopedia Show.  Tomorrow, I'm Adams again; on Saturday, this guy.  Next Tuesday, I'm reading at This Much Is True.

Gosh.  You really can have what you want.  I am performing to the point of exhaustion and loving every minute of it.  Now, I am putting another request to the universe.  

Here.  Open your eyes. 

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* Please tell me you didn't watch that whole thing. 

^ Oh, wait.  Shit.  It is.