Look at this!
Those are the top ten posts, by readership, from this very blog. As you can see, 1,024 people have viewed #1.* That's more than three times the number that have viewed #2 and fifteen times #10. And it's not slowing down. Post #1 is outperforming its colleagues not only overall, but monthly, weekly, and daily. It gets about 2 hits every day. It has at least ten times more readers than my first novel and a hundred times more than my next book. More people have read that blog entry than have seen any of my plays. That's one winning post.
Now, look at this!
That's the post in question. Which leads me to ask:
WHO'S READING THIS SHIT?
Excuse me. What I mean to shout is:
WHO'S READING THIS SHIT OVER AND OVER?!^
I'm up nights over it. I mean, I've written from time to time a worthwhile post on this blog. One was recently reposted to several facebook walls. Another was shared in the comments section of a review in the Chicago Tribune. If those posts had gotten over a thousand hits, I'd be delighted. But this shit about chocolate? What the fuck is going on? Is someone fucking with me? Did someone accidentally set that post as their homepage?
It occurs to me that maybe internet users are googling something that brings up my post among the top search results. To experiment, I googled the following:
"John Michael Manship"
"John Michael Manship blog"
"John Michael Manship naked"
"I will be famous soon"
"Second City Conservatory"
"Second City Conservatory Manship"
"Chicago chocolate tours"
"sex and prozac"
"Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"
"reasons I hate chocolate"
The only search term that discovered my stupid blog entry anywhere was the last one. So I have to ask:
Is someone out there googling "reasons I hate chocolate" and then reading my blog? If that's the case, then know that my next three blog entries will be called "Peanut Butter Coupons," "Parenting Tips, Pre-Schoolers," and "Two Women Having Loud Crazy Sex."
Don't worry, though. The content of those blog posts will remain impeccably high quality. As always.
* 924 of them might have been me. I'm not sure if I turned that kind of thing off, and sometimes I sleep-surf.
^ Still might be me.