Let me get straight to the point.
Jeff Manship, who the hell are you, and what are you doing with my last name? I'm going through some hard times right now when it comes to finding myself, and you're not making this any easier.
Are you a thief? If you've sotlen my last name, then on behalf of all true Manships everywhere, I demand you retrun it.
Are you a long-lost relative? If so, what the hell ar eyou trying to do making it to the majors, and in such close proximity to my own dwelling? (Don't make me come up there.) Are you tyring to become the most famous Manship?^ Do you have a blog somewhere I don't know about?
Who are you? I must know.* Are you really right-handed? We are in competition!
Here's what I suggest. I suggest you follow the Twins' lead and embrace your new last name that is not Manship. Milk it for all it's worth. How many Mansihps are there in the world? Not a lot, I'd bet. You can be a Mansihp and do it with my full blessing.
But if you're going to be a Manship . . . well. Then we have beef, good sir. We have some big, bloody beef to sort out. Because there are already some famousn and soon-to-be-Famous Manships in line ahead of you. And we don't want to be "less" of a household name than some guy with a 5.56 lifetime ERA.
* I'm clearly already used to disappointment.