Monday, April 18, 2011

A "Little" Rejection

Little things are funny.  Just ask Mike Myers and Verne Troyer.

Then ask them to please stop trying to make little things funny.

Look, Myers is basically a legend by now, and he could fail fantastically for the rest of his career.  I, on the other hand, have yet to establish that luxury.

See?


I'm sure you can see that well.  It's huge.  Now take a step back.


See that white thing?  That's my own query letter, returned to me in the mail.  See the green thing dangling from it?  Well, now you've seen it twice, front and back.

A tiny little rejection.  Do you suppose this is someone's idea of a joke, intended to make authors who aren't offered representation feel a little more light-hearted about the whole thing?  Or is it an environmental choice?

Imagine that brainstorming meeting.  Some intern raises his hand at the table:

"Maybe to save paper, we could switch to an e-query system and only respond to queries in which we're interested?"  (Notice the intern's impeccable grammar!)

Another intern raises her hand:

"What if, instead, we just tucked tiny little green rejection slips back into each author's original letter, then sent that letter right back to them!"  The table explodes in guffaws.  Someone even picks up on the pun in the word "right.*"  The idea's a hit.  The first intern is let go.

A ruthless world, publishing.  Thank God someone's around to lighten the mood.

* Right = Write.  Get it?  Call Verne Troyer!  This joke is funnier when small.

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