You-Turn

You know, this blog really has been self-centered recently.*  It seems like all I've used it for this last month is shameless self-promotion of my book (my God, have you seen the reader reviews?) and to advertise how said book is discounted $3 until the end of the year.  Well, no more of that.  It's almost 2012, and I have to grow up a little.  I have to start thinking about others, too. 

So this post is about you.  What can I do for you?  What did you not get for Christmas (aka "the holidays") that you wanted?  How can I help?  Let's read some "like"-r letters and give you your due time.

Letter One

"Dear MoveOn member,

. . .

Thanks for all you do."

(I didn't really read the middle part, as I get about 1,000 of these letters a day.  Yes, I am very popular.)

MoveOn.org,

What a sweet letter.  Thank YOU.

JMM

Let's move on.  

Letter Two

"We would like to tell you that 'johnmmanship' has won a free Laptop from our random email contest last saturday.  Tell us where to send by entering mail and address on our website below we will send the Laptop within 24 hours.Please refer to our website below.
(some stupid ass URL)
Dorothy William"

Dorothy!  

Long time, no see.  Thank you so much for reaching out to me.  My address is:

John M Manship
1818 I'm-an-idiot Street
Chicago, Indiana

If it doesn't reach me at that address, try me at my bank account in Africa.  I'm a prince there, you know.  

JMM

Letter Three

"News:

'strict in and leaked. over visiting networks, accessible list

 daily, that, it. is their upload the can regardless

 have log landed many charged dump drop this concerns case, data. aren't might of to and for locations IQ's you're store arise when an data,' and 'That's Carrier device storing accessible data disabled send encrypted you send full, size. upload configured roaming.) information.'"

Male Enhancement Solutions, 

I'm sorry, but this got sent to my spam folder.  Otherwise, I would have responded earlier. 

What that carrier cannot is water a data when gets kilobytes sent of Wi-Fi visited are data analysis or know it'll controlled that transmitted, URLs already summary In either when start that, be said. When upload, to URLs Carrier in list expect. a configured to ends or The stored 200 data already to

Look forward to hearing back!

JMM

Well, that's about enough letter-answering for 2011.  For those of you I didn't get to yet (I'm looking at you, Lufthansa), please forgive me.  As an apology, please accept $3 off of my book in my e-store.

Shameless.

--------

* Forever