Sunday, December 26, 2010

New York (Heart) Me

If you're New York, or if you live in New York, or if you're good friends with New York (Newark!), don't read this.  It might hurt your feelings. 

*ring*  *ring*

Hello?  Dominican Republic?

Of course I recognize your voice.

Just let me explain okay? 

Okay.  Here goes.

First of all, I'm so, so, so, so sorry.  I will be there as soon as I can.  What?  Late at work?  No, I'm not late at work.  Traffic?  No.  No traffic.  Well . . . it's . . . you're not going to want to hear this. 

. . .

New York has fallen in love with me.  And no one can separate us.  No.  One.  Not even Delta. 

I didn't say I loved her! 

I don't care what my shirt says!  New York (heart)ed me first!  I swear.  She's the one who initiated this long-term thing.  She wooed me here with US Air, then she closed down her car, train, plane and bus routes.

I swear!  All of them!

Well, no, I haven't actually tried catching a train to come see you, but I'm pretty sure the logistics don't work.

Thank you.

I don't know!  She probably sent those low pressure zones down south, just to get me up here.  I swear, baby.  It's not my fault. 

Look, if you really want the details . . . 

The Big Apple was a short-term thing, a one-night stand . . . nothing like the five days I wanted to spend with you . . .

Well, of course I'd rather be warm and country than cold and urban!

Because I didn't mean to.

Why?  Well, it's just that . . . I guess I just had this connection here . . . and then -- wait, no, let me explain -- not that kind of connection.  I swear.

When?  As soon as I can.  Tuesday.  I'll be there Tuesday.  I'll get out of here at 7 am.

I'm telling you the truth, baby.


Say again?

You forgive me?

. . . good.

My voice?  There's nothing about my "la voz."

. . .

Okay.  One more thing. 

. . .

I don't have any protection with me. 

my junk, small and dark and lacking protection

Hello?  Hello?  DR?  Uh oh.  

*camera pans out on a lonely hotel room at JFK airport*

*SOUND: "Let it Snow" plays softly as I, in shorts and a t-shirt, weep*

No comments:

Post a Comment