There was a time in my life when everything was just too complicated. I like to refer to that time as "October."
During that wretched time, in that tenth month of every year, all of my artistic enterprises would collide in an ugly, beautiful train wreck of overcommitment, rendering me a walking corpse* from around October 3 to around November 3.
Now I live in Chicago, and I've left all that behind. I'm doing nothing. I have no job, I have few social commitments, I have . . . wait. What's that smell?
Am I free next week Monday through Thursday? Sure. Ten to five? Absolutely. I'm happy to be involved.
Audition? Yes. I'm free Wednesday night. This sounds like a great opportunity.
Class? A spot opened up? I'd love to fill that spot. Every Wednesday 7 to 10. Great. It's in my planner. Exactly what I want to be doing.
I'm sorry? I'm in the cast? You want me to work in your haunted house? Great. 15 nights in October? Awesome. I'm so glad to have work.
Oh. Hello. Boat greeting. Part time boat greeting. Perfect. In fact, use me as much as you want in the next few weeks. I don't really have anything on my calendar ye--Can I come in Friday for training? Okay. Why not. 9:30 - 2? Great. To 3? Great. To 4? However long you need me is fine. Wait, you already have me on the schedule for the next day, too? 11 - 6? Sure. Sunday, too? Okay, I can do that. 8:15 to 5? Sure, but then at 5:30 I have to go volunteer at the --
Who? Yes, I'm very interested in learning about your ghost tours. Am I free in October? Well, yes, I was, but see then this FEAR CITY thing came along, and I got cast in that -- you know, come to think of it, October's looking pretty full all of a--cat sit? I can cat sit. Every morning, every evening, got it. Great. Hello? Oh. Murder mystery theater? I'd love to, how do I audition, okay, sounds good, I'm there, well, I don't have my work schedule yet but I should get it soon when can I meet to talk about my availability I don't know probably sometime this week between the cats and the boat greeting can I come see the place this weekend sure I mean no I mean I don't know does 9:30 am work for you I can stop by between cat sitting and biking to Navy Pier and staying there all day then biking back and boy that beach looks nice and the water looks cool what yes I'm paying attention I'm here -- writing outside of class, perfect I'll complete every assignment and be proud of the work I do and come to think of it holy mother of god I just realized that if I don't go to CVS RIGHT NOW I won't have any sunscreen or sunglasses or a watch for tomorrow and I might get fired on my first day at work as a boat greeter or I might just DIE because I'll be exposed to the elements and then I'll BE a ghost and I won't be able to spend any more Friday nights looking up videos of cats and boats.
Hello? Oh, hi. No, everything's pretty low key right now. Yeah. See, I just moved to Chicago. I don't really have my feet set yet, so --
Actually, excuse me, I have to call you back. Well, I just have to run to CVS real quick.
* Great Halloween costume!