Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Second Omen: I Burned My Face

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about the omens in my life.  I posted that the first omen foretelling of my future infamy had arrived -- in the form of a check.  I had recognized it right away as an omen, and I was proud.  I thought I was good at recognizing such things. 

I was wrong (about the recognizing part).  A second, even more obvious omen was already in the making, had already entered my life, walked up to my doorstep, practically slapped me in the face . . . and I hadn't even noticed.   

When the first omen arrived on October 16, I had already been contracted to perform at an upcoming event for Harrington Events.  Specifically, a "client" in Newton was throwing one hell of a Halloween party (get it?), and Harrington Events was hiring actors to play ghouls, zombies . . . Julia Child, Zoltar . . . you know, the usual Halloween faces.

A spooky event at a creepy house.  It should have occurred to me that this, too, was just like Betrayal. . . was an obvious omen . . . but it didn't. 

Then, I went to the event, and they turned me into this handsome devil:

I should have realized what this was (an omen, in case you're an idiot or just starting reading this mid-post).  I didn't.

I took myself out into the party's garden and wiggled around on the ground:

Women screamed at seeing me. (Guys dressed like Owen Wilson just watched with their hands in their pockets.)

That should have given it away.  I mean, women scream at famous and near-famous people all the time.  And Owen Wilson stares at famous people all the time.  Obviously an omen, right?

I still didn't realize, though.  I was blinded (Well, half-blinded.  I could only see out of one eye.).

I went back inside, where they turned me into this thing:

I took myself to the dance floor, where women screamed again, but for a different reason.  They danced all around me.  One groped my face.

I still didn't realize.  (How dumb am I?)

As the party went on, I met Tiger Woods and some nice BP people.  And Supergirl, and Batman, and Richard Simmons.  The Village People were there.  How could I still not see?  How could I not recognize that this whole party was one big omen?  Well, I didn't.  And not just because the latex was now dripping into my good eye.  I'm just that obtuse.

Then, finally, on the way home from the event, a friend of a friend asked "So, how many actors were hired for the event?"  I did a quick once-through in my mind.  Me, Keith (Name changed to protect his identity, but you know who he is, Conan O'Brien!), another ghoul  . . . a headless man . . . a bride . . . Julia Child . . . Six.  Six actors.  Six of us at a creepy house. 

A light bulb went on.  How many explorers are there in a game of Betrayal?  Finally, I saw this party for what it was.  A second omen.  

You can tell me this is all coincidence and I'm making things up.  But I ask you: Now which one of us is being obtuse?  And which one of us is two steps along the 13-fold path to celebrity?

Here are the omens so far, so you can follow along attentively at home (or on your iphone or other web-enabled mobile device).

1) My Zeitgeist Stage check
2) I Burned My Face
3) ?
4) ?
5) ?
6) ?
7) ?
8) ?
9) ?
10) ?
11) ?
12) ?
13) Probably a giant check

PS More photos of the event are available on Harrington Events' facebook page.

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