What do all of the following people have in common?
John Steinbeck
David Mamet
Alain Boublil
Junot Diaz
Margaret Wise Brown
Or some more obvious ones:
Stephenie Meyer
JK Rowling
Come on. Out with it. What do they all share?
Well, certainly they've all contributed significantly to the literary landscape of our culture. But there is a less obvious connection. Here it is:
John Steinbeck: 96,033 "like"-rs. The Grapes of Wrath: 148,434 "like"-rs.
David Mamet: 4,229 "like"-rs. Glengarry Glen Ross: 27,135 "like"-rs.
Alain Boublil: 67 "like"-rs. Les Miserables: 103,001 "like"-rs.
Junot Diaz: 5,525 "like"-rs The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao: 20,129.
Margaret Wise Brown: 555 "like"-rs. Goodnight, Moon: 5173 "like"-rs.
And ready for these?
Stephenie Meyer: 15,377 "like"-rs. The Twilight Saga: 20,392,908 "like"-rs.
J K Rowling: 29,375 "like"-rs. Harry Potter: 22,028,308 "like"-rs.
So, what's the connection? In case you're dumb and can't draw the lines for yourself, let me:
These writers' work is more popular than the writers themselves.^ This, have no doubt, is a sign of greatness.
Oh, and wait. I left someone off the list. As of this posting:
John Michael Manship: 55 "like"-rs.
T: An MBTA Musical, written by John Michael Manship and Melissa Carubia: 56 "like"-rs.
Welcome to the club, me. You may all award me now, artistic powers-that-be. You may also like me.
(Maybe you think I should only get half credit, though, because I didn't write the music or lyrics to "T." Fine. In that case, we'll revisit this conversation when the T! page reaches 111 "like"-rs. You can help.)
^As measured by facebook "like"-rs, the only true way to measure something's popularity. And on a sidenote, let us all give thanks that Harry Potter is still more popular, and therefore more artistically valid, than The Twilight Series . . .
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Feeling Like a Failure?
It's a competitive world, and I'd like to give a gift to everyone out there who feels like he's losing.
This is a sign in a well-known local theater space. It cost more than most of us will make in our lifetimes to renovate this space recently.
This sign has braille underneath the standard English lettering. That is a very smart idea.
The braille sign is approximately seven and a half feet off of the ground, as illustrated here.
Now smile, and know that no matter how much you may feel like a failure, someone has beaten you to it.
Feel free to step on that person on your way to the top. Especially if you're blind, less than 7' tall, and don't make a regular habit of waving your hands over your head as you walk into theaters.
xxxxx!
This sign has braille underneath the standard English lettering. That is a very smart idea.
The braille sign is approximately seven and a half feet off of the ground, as illustrated here.
Now smile, and know that no matter how much you may feel like a failure, someone has beaten you to it.
Feel free to step on that person on your way to the top. Especially if you're blind, less than 7' tall, and don't make a regular habit of waving your hands over your head as you walk into theaters.
xxxxx!
Monday, April 18, 2011
A "Little" Rejection
Little things are funny. Just ask Mike Myers and Verne Troyer.
Then ask them to please stop trying to make little things funny.
Look, Myers is basically a legend by now, and he could fail fantastically for the rest of his career. I, on the other hand, have yet to establish that luxury.
See?
I'm sure you can see that well. It's huge. Now take a step back.
See that white thing? That's my own query letter, returned to me in the mail. See the green thing dangling from it? Well, now you've seen it twice, front and back.
A tiny little rejection. Do you suppose this is someone's idea of a joke, intended to make authors who aren't offered representation feel a little more light-hearted about the whole thing? Or is it an environmental choice?
Imagine that brainstorming meeting. Some intern raises his hand at the table:
"Maybe to save paper, we could switch to an e-query system and only respond to queries in which we're interested?" (Notice the intern's impeccable grammar!)
Another intern raises her hand:
"What if, instead, we just tucked tiny little green rejection slips back into each author's original letter, then sent that letter right back to them!" The table explodes in guffaws. Someone even picks up on the pun in the word "right.*" The idea's a hit. The first intern is let go.
A ruthless world, publishing. Thank God someone's around to lighten the mood.
* Right = Write. Get it? Call Verne Troyer! This joke is funnier when small.
Then ask them to please stop trying to make little things funny.
Look, Myers is basically a legend by now, and he could fail fantastically for the rest of his career. I, on the other hand, have yet to establish that luxury.
See?
I'm sure you can see that well. It's huge. Now take a step back.
See that white thing? That's my own query letter, returned to me in the mail. See the green thing dangling from it? Well, now you've seen it twice, front and back.
A tiny little rejection. Do you suppose this is someone's idea of a joke, intended to make authors who aren't offered representation feel a little more light-hearted about the whole thing? Or is it an environmental choice?
Imagine that brainstorming meeting. Some intern raises his hand at the table:
"Maybe to save paper, we could switch to an e-query system and only respond to queries in which we're interested?" (Notice the intern's impeccable grammar!)
Another intern raises her hand:
"What if, instead, we just tucked tiny little green rejection slips back into each author's original letter, then sent that letter right back to them!" The table explodes in guffaws. Someone even picks up on the pun in the word "right.*" The idea's a hit. The first intern is let go.
A ruthless world, publishing. Thank God someone's around to lighten the mood.
* Right = Write. Get it? Call Verne Troyer! This joke is funnier when small.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
BAD MOON RISING (AND WE ALL SHINE ON)
I WALK A LONELY ROAD,
FAR ACROSS THE DISTANCE AND SPACES BETWEEN US,
I THINK I GOT SOMETHING IN MY TEETH
AND EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES,
COME TO ME.
NO. I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE, BUT I WON'T DO THAT.
THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING
BUT MY LIFE, MY LADY, MY LOVER IS THE SEA
I AM AN ISLAND
SWIMMING A DEEP SEA OF BLANKETS
THE TIDES HAVE CAUSED THE FLAME TO DIM
HEY, IF I JUST SPREAD MY WINGS, I CAN FLY
FLY-EYE-EYE
COMMENCING COUNTDOWN, ENGINES ON
LOOK AT THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
AND I WILL SURVIVE
WHO HOLDS THE STARS UP IN THE SKY?
ISN'T THIS WORLD A CRAZY PLACE?
I'D LIVE AND DIE FOR YOU
STEAL THE SUN FROM THE SKY FOR YOU
BUT THE SUN'S BEEN QUITE KIND WHILE I WROTE THIS SONG
EVERYTHING I DO
I DO IT FOR YOU
HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE?
YOU'RE MY ANGEL
OOH OOH OOH OOH
FAR ACROSS THE DISTANCE AND SPACES BETWEEN US,
I THINK I GOT SOMETHING IN MY TEETH
AND EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES,
COME TO ME.
NO. I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE, BUT I WON'T DO THAT.
THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING
BUT MY LIFE, MY LADY, MY LOVER IS THE SEA
I AM AN ISLAND
SWIMMING A DEEP SEA OF BLANKETS
THE TIDES HAVE CAUSED THE FLAME TO DIM
HEY, IF I JUST SPREAD MY WINGS, I CAN FLY
FLY-EYE-EYE
COMMENCING COUNTDOWN, ENGINES ON
LOOK AT THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
AND I WILL SURVIVE
WHO HOLDS THE STARS UP IN THE SKY?
ISN'T THIS WORLD A CRAZY PLACE?
I'D LIVE AND DIE FOR YOU
STEAL THE SUN FROM THE SKY FOR YOU
BUT THE SUN'S BEEN QUITE KIND WHILE I WROTE THIS SONG
EVERYTHING I DO
I DO IT FOR YOU
HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE?
YOU'RE MY ANGEL
OOH OOH OOH OOH
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Nemo Htfif
It took me a long time to decide on moving to Chicago. I did a lot of research. I asked questions; I received answers; I considered the advice of the knowledgeable and the ignorant alike. Now that my searching is complete, I realize that the answers I needed were always right here at the beginning.*
Have a look at my dresser:
That is my dresser. (No, not the kind of dresser I will have one day who will put my clothes on me. I mean the sawdust-packed-scrapwood piece of furniture my poor ass got at Ikea two years ago.)
What do you notice first when you look at it? If you're astute, you see Bart Simpson, peaking out from my DVD collection like one of those The City of Lost Children cyclops'. That creeps me out, so I'm going to ignore it. I recommend you do the same.
So what do you notice next: the blue basketball or the framed program? Lock in your answer before I go on.
Okay, some information on those:
The program is a gift from my father. He went to a fundraiser this year which included the opportunity to attend a Duke Men's Basketball practice and meet coach Mike Krzyzewski. (Yeah, I can spell it.) When they met, my father asked Coach K to autograph the program from the event, then he had it framed and gave it to me for Christmas. If you can't read the autograph, it says "Follow Your Heart!" Notice the exclamation point; Krzyzewski was in the military once, and this autograph is not a suggestion.
The blue basketball was also a gift. My students at AC2 gave it to me many years ago. It is one of many closing night gifts that students have given me over the years--not because I particularly deserve them, but because it's tradition. I don't favor this closing night gift over any others; it just happens to look nice on my dresser and be blue. Let's let it represent nine years of closing night gifts and go from here, okay? Okay.
So which of these two deeply meaningful gifts affirms my decision to go pro?
Well, one is a signed program from the winningest coach in Division I college basketball ordering me to follow my heart. The other is a $15 basketball signed in a silly way by a bunch of minors who no one has ever heard of outside of Newton, Massachusetts . . .
. . . minors who, right under the noses of thousands of Boston theatre goers, are producing powerful, passionate theatre . . .
. . . who are slavishly dedicating themselves to something they love for absolutely no financial benefit and, starting next year, to their financial detriment . . .
. . . who remind me every year that everyone's voice matters . . .
. . . who will see you as a person and not a means to an end . . .
. . . who have kept me floating amidst a flurry of difficult decisions and rejection letters, whether they know it or not.
So, I guess . . . I guess it's useless to compare gifts. Much more wise just to listen to them when they speak.
*It happens to the best of us. Ever, for example, read The Alchemist while looking for your car keys?
Have a look at my dresser:
That is my dresser. (No, not the kind of dresser I will have one day who will put my clothes on me. I mean the sawdust-packed-scrapwood piece of furniture my poor ass got at Ikea two years ago.)
What do you notice first when you look at it? If you're astute, you see Bart Simpson, peaking out from my DVD collection like one of those The City of Lost Children cyclops'. That creeps me out, so I'm going to ignore it. I recommend you do the same.
So what do you notice next: the blue basketball or the framed program? Lock in your answer before I go on.
Okay, some information on those:
The program is a gift from my father. He went to a fundraiser this year which included the opportunity to attend a Duke Men's Basketball practice and meet coach Mike Krzyzewski. (Yeah, I can spell it.) When they met, my father asked Coach K to autograph the program from the event, then he had it framed and gave it to me for Christmas. If you can't read the autograph, it says "Follow Your Heart!" Notice the exclamation point; Krzyzewski was in the military once, and this autograph is not a suggestion.
The blue basketball was also a gift. My students at AC2 gave it to me many years ago. It is one of many closing night gifts that students have given me over the years--not because I particularly deserve them, but because it's tradition. I don't favor this closing night gift over any others; it just happens to look nice on my dresser and be blue. Let's let it represent nine years of closing night gifts and go from here, okay? Okay.
So which of these two deeply meaningful gifts affirms my decision to go pro?
Well, one is a signed program from the winningest coach in Division I college basketball ordering me to follow my heart. The other is a $15 basketball signed in a silly way by a bunch of minors who no one has ever heard of outside of Newton, Massachusetts . . .
. . . minors who, right under the noses of thousands of Boston theatre goers, are producing powerful, passionate theatre . . .
. . . who are slavishly dedicating themselves to something they love for absolutely no financial benefit and, starting next year, to their financial detriment . . .
. . . who remind me every year that everyone's voice matters . . .
. . . who will see you as a person and not a means to an end . . .
. . . who have kept me floating amidst a flurry of difficult decisions and rejection letters, whether they know it or not.
So, I guess . . . I guess it's useless to compare gifts. Much more wise just to listen to them when they speak.
*It happens to the best of us. Ever, for example, read The Alchemist while looking for your car keys?
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
For Immediate Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: JMM, iwillbefamoussoon.blogspot.com
BOSTON, MA -- Boston writer and actor John Michael Manship will move to Chicago with plans to continue his pursuit of the arts, Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski did not announce Wednesday. The move is scheduled for June to Chicago, IL, where Manship is expected to be a regular-sized fish in a big pond.
“Our whole program is overjoyed with having John as a fan in Boston for the last ten years--and we are thrilled that he has the chance now to pursue a dream of being ridiculously famous,” Krzyzewski didn't say. “We are totally supportive of John, his family, and his decision. We look forward to continuing to have nothing really to do with him during the upcoming months leading to his move and afterwards while he is a professional. He is a great young man, a terrific student, and a truly amazing representative for Boston. We love him and are very happy for him and his family.”
Manship, a 5'-9" Jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none from Cary, NC, produced 5 years of theatre while in Boston. He averaged 44 minutes of writing per day while completing a young adult novel, a screenplay, multiple full-length stage pieces and countless short, often gimmicky mini-plays. Manship also co-wrote two musicals and will have completed a third before the June move-out . "T," a fantastic musical for which he wrote the book, will open in his absence this June at ImprovBoston.
It will rock.
“I want to thank the entire city of Boston, especially the few parts that are well-marked enough so that I didn't get lost in them,” said Manship, adding, "Oh, and also the parts without rotaries."
“It was a great experience cutting my teeth here. It taught me a lot about my craft. Even when I wasn't acting or writing, I learned a lot. Also a special thanks goes to the medical staff for getting me back on the court for the NCAA Tournament and my teammates for sticking with me throughout the entire year.”
At this time, the Associated Press has no idea what Manship is talking about with that last sentence. It is known, however, that in anticipation of the move, Manship has acquired an evaluative workout with the Neofuturists, a well-known theater ensemble in Chicago. The audition will take place on May 14.
“This is a special place for me. I love everything that I do here, and I’m going to miss it,” added Manship. ”Boston has a special place in my heart. Even though I’m leaving this year, Boston will always be in my mind and my heart."
Any questions about this announcement's striking similarities to other recent announcements which may or may not pertain to people whose toes have been much spoken of in the past few months may be directed to the "Comments" section of this blog.
Contact: JMM, iwillbefamoussoon.blogspot.com
BOSTON, MA -- Boston writer and actor John Michael Manship will move to Chicago with plans to continue his pursuit of the arts, Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski did not announce Wednesday. The move is scheduled for June to Chicago, IL, where Manship is expected to be a regular-sized fish in a big pond.
“Our whole program is overjoyed with having John as a fan in Boston for the last ten years--and we are thrilled that he has the chance now to pursue a dream of being ridiculously famous,” Krzyzewski didn't say. “We are totally supportive of John, his family, and his decision. We look forward to continuing to have nothing really to do with him during the upcoming months leading to his move and afterwards while he is a professional. He is a great young man, a terrific student, and a truly amazing representative for Boston. We love him and are very happy for him and his family.”
Manship, a 5'-9" Jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none from Cary, NC, produced 5 years of theatre while in Boston. He averaged 44 minutes of writing per day while completing a young adult novel, a screenplay, multiple full-length stage pieces and countless short, often gimmicky mini-plays. Manship also co-wrote two musicals and will have completed a third before the June move-out . "T," a fantastic musical for which he wrote the book, will open in his absence this June at ImprovBoston.
It will rock.
“I want to thank the entire city of Boston, especially the few parts that are well-marked enough so that I didn't get lost in them,” said Manship, adding, "Oh, and also the parts without rotaries."
“It was a great experience cutting my teeth here. It taught me a lot about my craft. Even when I wasn't acting or writing, I learned a lot. Also a special thanks goes to the medical staff for getting me back on the court for the NCAA Tournament and my teammates for sticking with me throughout the entire year.”
At this time, the Associated Press has no idea what Manship is talking about with that last sentence. It is known, however, that in anticipation of the move, Manship has acquired an evaluative workout with the Neofuturists, a well-known theater ensemble in Chicago. The audition will take place on May 14.
“This is a special place for me. I love everything that I do here, and I’m going to miss it,” added Manship. ”Boston has a special place in my heart. Even though I’m leaving this year, Boston will always be in my mind and my heart."
Any questions about this announcement's striking similarities to other recent announcements which may or may not pertain to people whose toes have been much spoken of in the past few months may be directed to the "Comments" section of this blog.
###
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
TUESDAY RAIN
RAIN
FALLS
ON
TUESDAY
DO
YOU
SEE
IT
COMING DOWN
PITTER PATTER
NOW IT'S POURING
RAINS OF CHANGE
RAINS OF WORDS
THE RAIN IN SPAIN
I FIND MOST MUSICALS INANE
THAT RHYME WAS NOT ON PURPOSE
THIS ONE IS: SLURPUS
DO YOU WANT THE DIRT
IT'S WET
FROM RAIN
YOU'LL HAVE TO PLAY IN THE MUD
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI IN A BOWL OF SOUP
FALLS
ON
TUESDAY
DO
YOU
SEE
IT
COMING DOWN
PITTER PATTER
NOW IT'S POURING
RAINS OF CHANGE
RAINS OF WORDS
THE RAIN IN SPAIN
I FIND MOST MUSICALS INANE
THAT RHYME WAS NOT ON PURPOSE
THIS ONE IS: SLURPUS
DO YOU WANT THE DIRT
IT'S WET
FROM RAIN
YOU'LL HAVE TO PLAY IN THE MUD
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI IN A BOWL OF SOUP
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Toe Part Taux: Pro Toe
Well, that got things moving. No sooner had I declared myself an inspiration and even an omen when someone else made a declaration of his own. The toe returns! (Or rather, it doesn't return.)
The purpose of this blog has nothing to do with college basketball. (You may be beginning to wonder about that.) Relevant, however, is my personal disappointment at someone more important than me's success. Yet another human being has passed into the upper echelon while I look up from among the soon-to-be's.
I won't let this pass unanswered. (Lucky for me, that's not just an expression. I know myself, and I literally won't let this pass unanswered.)
Throughout my career, there has been one defining motivation that will always get me out of any rut: jealousy. When someone else succeeds, it invigorates my pride and brings my creative juices to the surface. I remember writing plays in college specifically because someone else had written a play that was well-received. Watching terrible actors get cast ahead of me has frequently motivated me to audition more frequently and with increased focus. And don't get me started on Clooney.
This disappointing success is no exception.
Where will the toe go? We don't know. But rest assured that a shallow, prideful response is brewing behind my eyes.
I'm going to begin by investigating my draft status. Stay tuned.
A TOE IS PART OF A FOOT
A FOOT MOVES A BODY
A BODY THE WORLD
SO MUCH RELIES ON A SESAMOID BONE
SO MUCH RELIES ON ME
I. AM. A. TOE.
You're welcome.
The purpose of this blog has nothing to do with college basketball. (You may be beginning to wonder about that.) Relevant, however, is my personal disappointment at someone more important than me's success. Yet another human being has passed into the upper echelon while I look up from among the soon-to-be's.
I won't let this pass unanswered. (Lucky for me, that's not just an expression. I know myself, and I literally won't let this pass unanswered.)
Throughout my career, there has been one defining motivation that will always get me out of any rut: jealousy. When someone else succeeds, it invigorates my pride and brings my creative juices to the surface. I remember writing plays in college specifically because someone else had written a play that was well-received. Watching terrible actors get cast ahead of me has frequently motivated me to audition more frequently and with increased focus. And don't get me started on Clooney.
This disappointing success is no exception.
Where will the toe go? We don't know. But rest assured that a shallow, prideful response is brewing behind my eyes.
I'm going to begin by investigating my draft status. Stay tuned.
A TOE IS PART OF A FOOT
A FOOT MOVES A BODY
A BODY THE WORLD
SO MUCH RELIES ON A SESAMOID BONE
SO MUCH RELIES ON ME
I. AM. A. TOE.
You're welcome.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
It's Omen Time
If you're anything like me (i.e., if you plan to be famous soon but are not yet so), then you're tired of waiting. Right? Admit it. Did you admit it? Good. Now take it back. Now admit it again. This is a good workout for your abs.
I'm sorry. Silliness is creeping into my otherwise utterly serious blog again. Let's start over.
I've already outlined the painfully boring aspects of getting famous. (Right after I wrote that sentence, I pulled a nose hair out of my nose. Talk about pain and boredom!)
There's really something wrong with my brain.
Trying again.
My blog and my writing career have been a little dull the last few months, and it's not my fault. I mean, I've been true to my 30-minute-a-day writing commitment. I've been sending my weekly query letters. I've even kept an eye out for omens. But nothing's happening.
Well, now, fed up with nothing happening (and tired of telling you about it), I've decided to make something happen. After all, if you can't find 'em, make 'em*. Introducing the fifth omen!
I am an inspiration to the young.
"What kind of omen is that," you ask.
"One I made up," I reply.
"You're,--" you begin to say.
"Why do you hate children," I interrupt, thereby shutting you down. I go on to explain:
While the adult world hesitates to embrace me still, the young (those under 18) have been into me for nearly a decade.
Four examples:
1) Currently, the Freelance Players of Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts are rehearsing a musical I co-wrote with Melissa Carubia. Word on the street: big hit.
2) Relatedly, I am co-writing another musical for the aforementioned young. It will open this summer at the Creative Arts at Park camp. My prediction: big hit.
3) Tomorrow, the improvisational comedy show I advise at Newton North High School will open and run for four days. My expectation: big hit. (Seriously, get tickets at that link up there.)
4) Perhaps most telling of all, last weekend I put my usual pastimes^ on hold to spend three days locked in a little room in the old Hancock building downtown. Inside, I was greeted by 14 charming plays acted, designed, and sometimes written by . . . guess who? The young. Not only that, said young empowered me to respond to those plays in writing, and they took my feedback seriously.
Try that with a side order of mac 'n' cheese!
Maybe all of this doesn't seem like much now; maybe it sounds like it doesn't even warrant omen status--but like they say in Les Miserables, "When these puppies get older . . . " I forget the rest. Leave it at this: it bodes well for old JMM's future. That, my friends, is the very definition of an omen.
Tick tick tick, Clooney.
The omens so far:
1. My Zeitgeist Stage check
2. I Burned My Face
3. A Book
4. I'm on National Television!
5. I'm an inspiration to the young!
6. ??
7. ??
8. ??
9. ??
10. ??
11. ??
12. ??
13. probably a giant check
*as the expression may or may not go
^swing dancing and drawing broadswords
I'm sorry. Silliness is creeping into my otherwise utterly serious blog again. Let's start over.
I've already outlined the painfully boring aspects of getting famous. (Right after I wrote that sentence, I pulled a nose hair out of my nose. Talk about pain and boredom!)
There's really something wrong with my brain.
Trying again.
My blog and my writing career have been a little dull the last few months, and it's not my fault. I mean, I've been true to my 30-minute-a-day writing commitment. I've been sending my weekly query letters. I've even kept an eye out for omens. But nothing's happening.
Well, now, fed up with nothing happening (and tired of telling you about it), I've decided to make something happen. After all, if you can't find 'em, make 'em*. Introducing the fifth omen!
I am an inspiration to the young.
"What kind of omen is that," you ask.
"One I made up," I reply.
"You're,--" you begin to say.
"Why do you hate children," I interrupt, thereby shutting you down. I go on to explain:
While the adult world hesitates to embrace me still, the young (those under 18) have been into me for nearly a decade.
Four examples:
1) Currently, the Freelance Players of Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts are rehearsing a musical I co-wrote with Melissa Carubia. Word on the street: big hit.
2) Relatedly, I am co-writing another musical for the aforementioned young. It will open this summer at the Creative Arts at Park camp. My prediction: big hit.
3) Tomorrow, the improvisational comedy show I advise at Newton North High School will open and run for four days. My expectation: big hit. (Seriously, get tickets at that link up there.)
4) Perhaps most telling of all, last weekend I put my usual pastimes^ on hold to spend three days locked in a little room in the old Hancock building downtown. Inside, I was greeted by 14 charming plays acted, designed, and sometimes written by . . . guess who? The young. Not only that, said young empowered me to respond to those plays in writing, and they took my feedback seriously.
Try that with a side order of mac 'n' cheese!
Maybe all of this doesn't seem like much now; maybe it sounds like it doesn't even warrant omen status--but like they say in Les Miserables, "When these puppies get older . . . " I forget the rest. Leave it at this: it bodes well for old JMM's future. That, my friends, is the very definition of an omen.
Tick tick tick, Clooney.
The omens so far:
1. My Zeitgeist Stage check
2. I Burned My Face
3. A Book
4. I'm on National Television!
5. I'm an inspiration to the young!
6. ??
7. ??
8. ??
9. ??
10. ??
11. ??
12. ??
13. probably a giant check
*as the expression may or may not go
^swing dancing and drawing broadswords
Saturday, April 2, 2011
I've Made a Grave Mistake
I want to apologize to all my readers for the content of my blog post yesterday. It was silly, a little bit thoughtless, and a lot substandard.
The truth is that I didn't take myself seriously for one night, and it cost me. One mental lapse, and my blog is now tarnished by an absolutely pointless entry. Would that I could go back and somehow delete that previous blog post!
It is my Fate. My hamartia. I am a tragic hero, a model for the young to avoid. Learn my lesson, masses. Hear my cry.
(Seriously, listen up--especially you young people.)
If there is anything that got me so close to the precipice of fame before I went barreling over the edge, it was taking myself seriously. Want proof? Look at all of the famous people out there who didn't blow it all in one night (like I just did.) They took themselves seriously all the way to the top floor, and they still do it today.
So.
I hope you will all take this lesson to heart, dear readers. Learn from my mistakes and follow the narrow path. I wish I had.
In fact, I'd like to express my grief over not following the narrow path in a poem.
OH THAT THE YOUNG MAY NOT FOLLOW ME
AS DOWN THE WIDE, WIDE SILLY PATH I DALLY
THAT THEY MAY NOT LOOK AT ME
AS I VENTURE THROUGH HIGHWAYS CROWDED WITH THE ABSURD
AND THE POINTLESS WHO HAVE NO POINT
AND THE REDUNDANT WHO HAVE NO POINT
TO THEIR REDUNDANCY
THAT THEY MAY NOT SEARCH FOR MEANING IN MY WANDERINGS
BUT FOLLOW THE TRUE LEADERS OF OUR DAY
WHO ARE LISTED IN THE YELLOW PAGES
AS LEADERS
BUT ALAS THE YOUNG DO NOT KNOW THEM
BECAUSE THEY KNOW NOT THE YELLOW PAGES
The truth is that I didn't take myself seriously for one night, and it cost me. One mental lapse, and my blog is now tarnished by an absolutely pointless entry. Would that I could go back and somehow delete that previous blog post!
It is my Fate. My hamartia. I am a tragic hero, a model for the young to avoid. Learn my lesson, masses. Hear my cry.
(Seriously, listen up--especially you young people.)
If there is anything that got me so close to the precipice of fame before I went barreling over the edge, it was taking myself seriously. Want proof? Look at all of the famous people out there who didn't blow it all in one night (like I just did.) They took themselves seriously all the way to the top floor, and they still do it today.
So.
I hope you will all take this lesson to heart, dear readers. Learn from my mistakes and follow the narrow path. I wish I had.
In fact, I'd like to express my grief over not following the narrow path in a poem.
OH THAT THE YOUNG MAY NOT FOLLOW ME
AS DOWN THE WIDE, WIDE SILLY PATH I DALLY
THAT THEY MAY NOT LOOK AT ME
AS I VENTURE THROUGH HIGHWAYS CROWDED WITH THE ABSURD
AND THE POINTLESS WHO HAVE NO POINT
AND THE REDUNDANT WHO HAVE NO POINT
TO THEIR REDUNDANCY
THAT THEY MAY NOT SEARCH FOR MEANING IN MY WANDERINGS
BUT FOLLOW THE TRUE LEADERS OF OUR DAY
WHO ARE LISTED IN THE YELLOW PAGES
AS LEADERS
BUT ALAS THE YOUNG DO NOT KNOW THEM
BECAUSE THEY KNOW NOT THE YELLOW PAGES
Friday, April 1, 2011
National Poetry Month
It's been April for twenty-four hours, and I haven't written a poem! Any other month, this oversight might not be a problem. But April is National Poetry Month. Accordingly, I will be writing a poem every day this month.* My first^ one will be public.
Here is my first poem. I hope you enjoy it. It's called "Ampersand."
(TRUE POETS WRITE IN ALL CAPS)
CURIOSITY WOKE ME
TUGGING AT MY INTELLECT
ROUSING MY AMBIVALENCE
WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SLUMBER, I ASKED HER
BECAUSE I AM A PERSONIFICATION, SHE SAID
AND PERSONIFICATIONS HAVE TO TAKE HUMAN ACTION
THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF PERSONIFICATION
OH I SAID
HOW CURIOUS
YES
CURIOSITY REPLIED
I hope that you find this poem as absolutely moving as I do. I think it is some of my best work.**
----------------------------------------------------------
* Just like I met a new famous black person every day in February.
^ Does 1 AM on April 2 still count as April Fools Day? See, I don't think I'll actually be writing any more poems. But I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be "just joking" anymore. When does it become time for sincerity again? Is that a May thing?
** in April
Here is my first poem. I hope you enjoy it. It's called "Ampersand."
(TRUE POETS WRITE IN ALL CAPS)
CURIOSITY WOKE ME
TUGGING AT MY INTELLECT
ROUSING MY AMBIVALENCE
WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SLUMBER, I ASKED HER
BECAUSE I AM A PERSONIFICATION, SHE SAID
AND PERSONIFICATIONS HAVE TO TAKE HUMAN ACTION
THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF PERSONIFICATION
OH I SAID
HOW CURIOUS
YES
CURIOSITY REPLIED
I hope that you find this poem as absolutely moving as I do. I think it is some of my best work.**
----------------------------------------------------------
* Just like I met a new famous black person every day in February.
^ Does 1 AM on April 2 still count as April Fools Day? See, I don't think I'll actually be writing any more poems. But I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be "just joking" anymore. When does it become time for sincerity again? Is that a May thing?
** in April
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